Career Envy: Taming the Green-Eyed Monster
I logged into LinkedIn this morning to check my messages and the top of my newsfeed was a former co-worker who had just updated her title to VP of Global Talent. I’m embarrassed to admit, my initial response was not positive—it was more of a punch in the gut. At one point several years ago, we were peers. Now she’s a VP and I’m practically unemployed.
While I would never characterize myself as an envious person, I occasionally succumb to the temptation of coveting the accomplishments of others. Intellectually I am aware that comparing myself to others is a fool’s errand, but I couldn’t help myself from going through the five stages of career envy—disbelief, frustration, self-loathing, excuses and recognition.
DISBELIEF
That can’t be right—I must have read that wrong. That idiot isn’t capable of VP-level success. She’s waaaay too young to be in a senior position.
FRUSTRATION
She couldn’t string together a coherent sentence without me proofreading. She didn’t even know what SHRM was until I told her. She was so immature, constantly giggling and apologizing when she had no reason.
SELF-LOATHING
I’m not smart enough. If I were skinnier people wouldn’t think I’m lazy. People think I’m an unsophisticated hick. I shouldn’t have ever left that company, I was making a difference and gave up too soon. Why can’t I focus? If only I were more professional. I’m not good enough—never have been never will be.
EXCUSES
I think her brother-in-law is related to the CEO. Her parent’s paid her way through private school. My leaving opened up opportunity for her to grow. She doesn’t have children so she has more time to focus on career than I do.
RECOGNITION
She’s probably grown a lot over the last few years. Looks like she got her MBA and probably leveraged her networking savvy with her newfound skillset to negotiate her way into this new challenge. It’s quite impressive actually.
All of these thoughts and feelings ran through my head in under a minute, or more accurately the amount of time it took me to scan her profile. I’m not proud of myself. Envy is ugly and counterproductive, but we all experience a twinge of it here and there. In the end, I’m proud to see people I’ve associated with, and who I’ve maybe helped along the way, doing well. After that moment of weakness, I quickly moved on to genuine happiness and being proud of my former co-worker.
The bigger revelation from this episode? I have zero desire to be a VP. I’m so disillusioned with the corporate world that the last thing I want is a leadership position in a subpar company with the explicit responsibility of attracting candidates to jobs that will, in all reality, make them miserable. And begrudging a friend something that I do not even want is beyond childish.
Photo by Cosmin Gurau on Unsplash
Sure, we all compare ourselves to others, but it’s time to stop. Compare yourself to the person you were yesterday and nobody else. Besides, you have no idea the energy and hard work somebody has put into learning a skill, perfecting a process or acquiring a high level of expertise. The best way to tame the green-eyed monster is by remembering that time wasted being envious of someone else’s accomplishments is time you should be spending improving yourself. I think I’ll do just that tomorrow and skip logging into LinkedIn altogether.
Let’s hear about your career challenges. Have you been envious of a classmate’s success? Have you watched co-workers or friend climb the corporate ladder while you stalled? Please leave a comment below or email me at mollie@midlifepickle.com. Just don’t send me a LinkedIn message and expect an immediate response.
