Miss Independent Misses the Point
I hate asking for help. It’s a major character flaw that upon reflection has spawned nearly every mistake I’ve ever made. Most of this stems from my deep desire to look smart and appear as if I have everything figured out.
As I’ve discussed before, this has not served me well. I’ve experienced unnecessary anxiety when I was afraid to inquire about appropriate attire for an occasion. I’ve created extra work when asking one simple questions would have saved hours of research. I’ve missed opportunities because I was too proud to seek guidance from senior team members.
After spending the bulk of 2019 reflecting on my professional shortcomings and failures, I’m gearing up to take on some new challenges. While I’m certain independence is useful at times, I’ve realized that true strength comes from leaning on others.
Asking for help is a great way to quickly connect with new people. Nearly everyone gets an ego boost when asked for their advice or professional opinion and most people love talking about their area of expertise. Asking a coworker for the inside scoop shows you’re humble, interested and willing to learn, all qualities that are desirable in colleagues.
Lasting bonds are created when completing a project or solving a problem as a team. Getting advice and guidance from multiple perspectives not only protects you from blindspots, it encourages buy-in from the larger group. There is no better way to become a valued member of a team than by recognizing others’ strengths and sharing credit for a job well done.
No one person can be an expert in everything. Tapping into your network for guidance and advice is not something to be avoided. In fact, knowing who to reach out to is a superpower. The smartest and most effective people have teams behind them with complementary skillsets and knowledge.
Intellectually, I know it’s unrealistic to have all the answers, but my tendency is to pretend I know until I can find the time to figure things out. Middle age has taught me that this is a pointless exercise. As I embark on some new challenges in 2020, I’m going to force myself to raise my hand to ask lots of questions, learn as much from others as possible and be willing to admit when I don’t have all the answers. It’s time for Miss Independent to grow into Ms. Team Player.
