All in Musings
I worked from home today. I won’t belabor the details of working from home with two boys doing schoolwork. Suffice it to say we all survived and will live to fight another day. I recognize how blessed I am to have a job where I can continue to work and earn money while making sure my boys are safe.
Earlier I spent an hour tucking my boys into bed. Both of them are struggling with the current situation. They’re struggling in different ways, but struggling nonetheless. Up to this point, they’ve both been pretty strong, but until today things have been pretty normal. But today was the first homeschool day.
Laugh through the pain is the Braun family motto so I’ve been making jokes in dark times my entire life. That morbid sense of humor is coming in handy these days.
Under normal circumstances today would have been a welcome change of pace. With two active boys our weekends tend to be pretty busy and I’m always craving a day to kick back, relax, and unplug. Yet today had more of a melancholy vibe.
I’m not one to panic or even worry about much when it comes to safety and health, but this coronavirus stuff has me a bit on edge. I spent the last two days researching, creating policies, helping prep people for work at home and communicating procedures surrounding the pandemic. Top my week off with two trips to Kroger (usually my happy place) and I’m pretty damn exhausted.
I’m not a fan of the lottery. Maybe because I’m a big short story fan and I’ve read Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery” a few too many times (If you’re not familiar, I suggest taking the time to read it here). More likely, I realize the likelihood of winning the lotto is slim to none so I go into it with a sour attitude.
The sun came out today! And even though I had a video to finish editing this morning and three parties this afternoon and evening, I prioritized squeezing in a pedicure. I assumed the place would be packed, but when I got there and asked if they could take a walk-in the place was a ghost town.
This week has been rough. Not only did work kick my ass, but I had several projects hanging over my head that I struggled to find the time to complete because I was working 12+ hour days. Top it off with my Lenten commitment to daily blogging and it’s been a recipe for exhaustion.
Expectations are a dangerous game. Setting them too low and you’ll never fail, but also never grow. Set them too high and you’ll get discouraged. Worry about others’ expectations and you’ll be miserable. Have expectations of others and you’ll most certainly be disappointed.
Working full-time and trying to be involved in school and church while also paying attention to my family and friends is exhausting. There are never enough hours in the day. I’m perpetually fatigued. I’m constantly forgetting things. I’m frazzled. I’ve not completed my To-Do List in so long the item that keeps rolling over from one day to the next is “take wedding dress to dry cleaner.” OK, maybe that’s an exaggeration—mostly because we had such a good time on the farm my dress wasn’t salvageable anyway—but I keep putting off things I want to do for things I have to do.
After a 14 hour day I decided Tuesday was harder than Monday. Good grief! Do you think I’ll ever get into the swing of having a big girl job again?
