Let’s all agree on one thing—work sucks.

In all fairness, work may not suck for you. You may be doing work that you enjoy, with a boss who is a leader, at a company you’re proud to be a part of. Odds are, you’re not.

If my conversations with real life friends, as well as my extensive LinkedIn and Twitter networks are anywhere near the mark, most people are frustrated with work. Bosses who get promoted until they reach their level of incompetence, stress from terrible coworkers, dismal raises and inadequate tools are just a few things that contribute to the general dread and burn-out surrounding work. This trend is so rampant the World Health Organization (WHO) recently classified burn-out as an “occupational phenomenon.”

I’m 100% certain I’ve suffered from burn-out. This stemmed from frustration at a toxic environment, unethical leadership practices, expectation of working extended hours as well as the above-mentioned reasons. I’m pretty sure I could have overcome all of those challenges had I had clearer paths to capitalize on my potential or guidance in setting meaningful goals.

Being a GenXer, I’m a part of the first generation who had mothers working outside the home. As a young girl, it was drilled into me from teachers and the every cheesy sitcom I watched that I could be whatever I wanted to be. Apart from this being a bold-faced lie—not everyone has the skills to be a neurosurgeon or chemical engineer—I saw countless examples of women in positions of power and never really assumed my gender would hold me back. I still believe this is true.

I can only speak to my own experience, but there was never a question that girls were just as smart as the boys or that I wasn’t offered opportunities because of my gender. I adored Sally K Ride wanted to be as quick-witted as Julia Sugarbaker and had the opportunity to meet the first female Kentucky Governor, Martha Layne Collins, on several occasions. Also, from a young age, there was never any question that I would eventually go to college. This came more from my teachers and my observations of society than from my family, not that they weren’t supportive of my goals. In my mind, women were on the move and nothing was holding us back.

With role models in tow, I was off to college with a plan to be a teacher. The irony that I chose one of the most traditionally female professions is not lost on me…now. I had no frame of reference for other career options, so I went with what I thought I could succeed at, not aware of the myriad of other options. I felt empowered and ready to take on the world, but in all reality I was ill-equipped and rudderless.

When that didn’t pan out, because I realized I didn’t like the kids or the bureaucracy, I floundered. I had a vague vision (smart and successful but still grounded) of the type of woman I wanted to be, but no clear path to get there. One of my many missteps was I didn’t take the time to define success. Was it climbing the corporate ladder (at the time manager verses director verses VP was a foreign concept)? Was it helping others? Was it creating something? I tried to set goals, but they weren’t SMART—Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant or Timely. Instead, they were FAIL—Foggy, Ambiguous, Imprecise and Lenient.

I fell into HR, and as I’ve written before, I struggled to find a mentor. I wanted to gain power and control over my future, but being involved in a business function that is undervalued and often dismissed (which I’m starting to think may be correct) was not the fast track. Unfortunately, my English BA didn’t prepare me for anything more than administrative work. And while I had an illusion of opportunity as a young girl, I struggled to manifest that opportunity beyond a vague vision.

What does all this have to do with burnout? Well, I ended up in roles that I’m not sure I ever belonged in or actually wanted. I looked for jobs that I was qualified for (side note-Men apply for a job when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women apply only if they meet 100% of them) and not that I was necessarily interested in doing. And since full-time in the US generally means 50+ hours per week, I spent long hours doing work I didn’t enjoy or feel confident I was capable of doing well.

I think many people are in similar situations. Doing work they don’t necessarily enjoy while working for bosses who are also burned out and disengaged. I’d also propose that most of us bought the lie of ‘you can be anything you want to be’ but didn’t have the tools—a Venn Diagram that showed the intersection of ability with desirable options would have been a nice start—to even determine what we want to be. This has left most of us in a constant state of mild dissatisfaction.

That’s how I’ve ended up in the midlife pickle. I’d be willing to bet most of you are too. I hope I’m wrong, but even the WHO and countless others—Society for Human Resources Management, Harvard Business Review and Business Insider—agree that burnout is alive and well. Now that you know what that slight malaise is, maybe you can take steps to relieve it. Here is what I’m doing:

Working with people who I respect and enjoy spending time with. If I’m spending time away from my family, it better be with people who don’t make my skin crawl.
Working on projects that have meaning beyond making a quick buck. Unless I will still be proud I worked on something several months or years from now, I’m not getting involved. I value sleeping well at night now that I have been for the last few months.
Embracing the suck. All work has aspects that are less than desirable. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I do not like writing but I love having written something. By setting aside 90 minutes every single day to write, I’m powering through the grunt work to get to the satisfaction of completing a job.

If you have any other ideas, I’m accepting any and all suggestions. I hope that you are not one of the millions of people who are unsatisfied with their job, but the stats are against you. Work sucks for most of us, but maybe it doesn’t have to.

I’d love to hear more about your work situation. Are you suffering from burn-out? Do you get satisfaction from your work? Are you considering changing your career path? Any advice for those who are?

Based in Northern Kentucky, Midlife Pickle is a blog by Mollie Bentley exploring the shock that she is smack dab in the middle of life.

Jun 20 Work Sucks

Based in Northern Kentucky, Midlife Pickle is a blog by Mollie Bentley exploring the shock that she is smack dab in the middle of life.

Jun 20 Work Sucks

Jun 23 The Only Thing that Happens in Vegas AND Stays in Vegas - SHRM19

Jun 17 Week Six - Oops!...I Did it Again