Rejection Sucks
Rejection sucks. It never feels good to be turned down, told you’re not the right person, that somebody else was better.
I suppose I’ve been lucky to not have experienced the feeling of rejection as much as others. I’ve never dated anybody but my husband, so romantically I’ve mostly dodged that bullet. Well, there was that one time when Jason and I were on a break in about 1996 and some NKU frat boy stood me up for an 18th Century Lit study date. Funny, I hadn’t thought about that in years, but it burns a bit thinking back to that moment.
Professionally, I’ve felt the sting of rejection more times than I can count. Anybody who has applied for more than two jobs online knows how disheartening the auto-reply ‘thanks, but no thanks’ email can be, especially when it comes moments after submitting. Even worse, speaking with a recruiter who says they’ll be in touch to schedule an interview and then they disappear off the face of the earth is confusing and disappointing.
Full disclosure, I’ve hit the decline button on literally thousands of people. Knowing I was dashing their hopes and dreams never felt good to me, but declining candidates is a large part of a recruiter’s job. I guess karma is a bitch.
So why all this talk about rejection?
I had an interview and audition for a part-time training position. This is exactly the type of role I’ve been wanting for years. I’d be able to use my communication skills and HR expertise to help others become better leaders. On top of that, it would allow me the time to continue with my BrandFlick storytelling and Midlife Pickling while staying active in the HR world with the flexibility to take on other projects.
As you may have already guessed, I wasn’t selected for the job. And while they were beyond gracious in their rejection, giving solid feedback and the reason that the other candidate had WAY more experience than me, it still felt like a punch in the gut.
Thing is, I wasn’t even surprised when I got the no. Actually, from the moment I was contacted by them to discuss this potential arrangement, I was confused. While this is exactly the type of thing I’ve wanted to do for years, I don’t see myself as fully qualified. Sure, I have certifications and years of experience, but I don’t have an MBA, I’ve never worked for a Fortune 500 company and I’ve never led an HR department. In our initial meeting, I felt comfortable and as if they liked me, but I also figured my credentials were not impressive enough to move forward.
Several weeks passed and I assumed they had made the same evaluation. That was until 2 weeks ago when they contacted me to schedule an audition. I readily accepted and had a momentary confidence boost. I was excited, but after I replied to the email confirming my time, doubt set in and I thought maybe it was a mistake. Either way, I decided to give it my all because I know an opportunity like this doesn’t come around too often.
I spent 30+ hours preparing for the 30-minute audition (researching, writing, preparing coordinated Power Point and workbook, practicing), but I still felt less than qualified. It didn’t help matters that I knew I had to present to and engage 10 people who are experienced HR trainers. And since I’ve vowed to not fake it anymore (see this post), I found myself freaking out—wondering if I truly knew my material and if I could answer questions thrown my way.
Overall, things went okay. I had technology challenges, there ended up being 20 people in the class instead of the 10 I had been told to prepared for and I didn’t get through my material in the time allotted. Even 8 workbooks shy, I finished without completely falling on my face, but I didn’t feel as if I nailed it. Turns out I was right about the audience questions, but there’s always one person in every crowd.
So now what?
While I’m happy to have had this experience, it certainly didn’t build my confidence. I’ve spent most of today licking my wounds and evaluating my current skill set. I suppose I need to take a step back in order to take a step forward. If I truly want to do training and presentations, I need to gain more experience as a subject matter expert. I’m hoping my confidence will grow along with my knowledge base.
The first thing Jason said to me when I told I didn’t get the job was, “After all the time and energy you put into this?” Sure, that was my first reaction too, but after taking a moment to consider, I realized this was an all-around good experience for several reasons, including:
I sharpened my knowledge base surrounding interviewing techniques that I used a ton in the real world but didn’t really think a lot about from a theory or academic standpoint.
I met 20 people, several of whom I’ve already connected with on LinkedIn, and hope to continue to develop those relationships.
I taught myself how to create and use a design theme across multiple Microsoft applications. I’m really happy with my Power Point and workbook aesthetics.
Any chance to speak in front of an audience helps me to feel more at ease and grows my ability to command a room.
I was brave and put myself out there. That takes courage and believe me when I was sitting in the parking lot waiting to go inside it took copious amounts of courage to not back out of my parking space and hit the road.
Most importantly, I am proud that I gave it my all even if that just wasn’t good enough. I can sleep easy knowing I did my best and I didn’t make a complete fool of myself. And maybe, I had every right to be there. An intelligent group of professionals wouldn’t waste their time with just any old fool. Right?
Now it’s your turn. Have you completely lost out on a great job only to realize it was a blessing? Did you bomb an interview but down the road landed a job with the same hiring manager? Are you still kicking your butt for oversleeping and missing the interview of a lifetime? Please make me feel better by sharing your missed opportunities.
