School Dazed
For my first three years of college I majored in Education. What possessed me to think I could EVER be a school teacher is a mystery. I can’t remember if I’m 13 or 300 days into NTI, but it is beyond obvious that I am not equipped to be a teacher. And while trying to be a teacher on top of a remote HR lady in the midst of a pandemic—that’s just a pipe dream.
St. Mary teachers are some of my favorite people, so I feel very bad that I’ve cursed their names more than once over the last few days. I’m struggling to keep straight the homeroom work and the music and art and Spanish and phys ed. And to top it off, until today we didn’t have a printer, so I was managing all of this through email and PDFs.
I see all these other families who seem to have it together and wonder why we’re such a mess. I can’t figure out how to do common core math, much less do the list after list of extra activities I assume everyone but me is finding time to do. The boys seem uninspired and uninterested in anything but being outside or staring at a screen, which I’m aware is because I’m not making the time to make this experience interesting, engaging, and enlightening.
Meanwhile, I’m thrilled to be working, and quite honestly love my job and the people I’m working with. It’s just the ten hours behind a computer with the stress of managing two kids who are none-too-thrilled about being stuck at home whining behind me. And with school, work, cooking, cleaning, laundry all being smushed together, I feel like I’m in a daze.
These days are long.
