What a Difference a Year Makes
A year ago, I decided to launch this blog. I thought it would be an opportunity to flex my writing muscle while working through my midlife challenges. And I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I was seeking attention and positive feedback during a time where my professional confidence had been shaken to its core. I assumed my life would evolve and change as I figured out what mattered most and how to create a life with meaning and purpose. However, I had no clue how drastically the world around me would change and in such a short time.
Tonight, I sit in a darkened basement with Jason and my boys watching Shaun the Sheep on Netflix. While it feels like the world is on fire beyond my door, all is right with this little corner of our house. Last year, I had delusions of grandeur, or at least aspirations of carving a path to notoriety where I could change the world. I thought building a large audience and espousing my ideas would bring me fulfillment.
Through writing this blog, and a lot of soul searching, I’ve come to realize that fulfillment comes from personal connections, which aren’t possible on a grand scale. And more importantly, changing the world can’t possibly happen unless I start with my tiny little corner.
The most valuable thing I’ve realized—my tiny corner is pretty remarkable. Sure, it still needs a lot of work, but I’m blessed beyond measure. I have many people who love and care about me. I have a safe, comfortable home, some sense of financial stability, everything I need, and most of what I want. Thankfully, I have my health.
Realizing all of these things, the Midlife Pickle has become so much more obvious to me. It’s not that I am looking for something to fill a void. It’s that this comfortable space I’m living in is finite. We’ve all realized over the last 6 weeks just how fragile our existence is—all it takes is one small hiccup to change everything.
The best thing I can do is keep plugging away at improving my health, tending to the relationships that bring me joy, and continuing to learn so I can brace myself for the inevitable moment when my happy little world changes. Really, that’s all any of us can do.
And I’m going to keep on blogging because what started as a way to garner attention for my professional pursuits has evolved into a place where I can share my hopes, fears, and aspirations. I need this now more than I ever imagined I would. So here’s to many more pickles!
