More Than Fear
Being in the midst of a pandemic is scary. Very scary. I’ve also experienced a lot of other emotions and I bet I’m not alone. We’re all entitled to our feelings, right? Most people aren’t stupid enough to say it aloud, but I am. So here goes nothing…
Excitement - It’s exciting to be a part of something with risks and challenges. I’ve avoided public places like mad, but the first few days I wasn’t so cautious. As much as it freaked me out, it was also thrilling to be in the stores in those first few days seeing the empty shelves and wondering what was going to happen next. I definitely got an adrenaline rush from being on the front lines.
Sense of Belonging - With everyone pulling together, social groups are communicating and reaching out. I’ve planned Zoom games for multiple groups of my family, school moms, work groups, church groups, old coworkers, HR people, etc. Weirdly, I’ve connected with people in ways I wasn’t prior to this crisis. I truly feel like part of a handful of communities.
Pride - I have never felt more proud to be a Kentuckian than I do today. Every day at 5:00pm during Governor Andy Beshear’s briefing, we’re shown example after example of people doing the right things (distilleries producing hand sanitizer and donating to hospitals, a teacher helping a struggling student from the safety of her front yard, children making masks) and I’m reminded that I live in an area where people take care of and care about each other.
Fascination - We’re living in unprecedented times. I’ve heard this crisis referred to as our Pearl Harbor or Great Depression. Honestly, that’s a bit of a stretch. Yet, in harmony with the comforts that we’ve grown accustomed to, what we’ve been asked to do is stay put in our homes. At this time, our greatest action is inaction. How lucky are we that the way we fight this enemy is by staying home in our jammies?
Contentment - Being at home with my boys and with fewer distractions or stress from obligations has been a blessing. Sure, we’ve had some challenging moments, but for the most part we’ve enjoyed each others’ company. I truly think we’ll look back on this time and remember the extra board games, airfryer chicken wing dinners, sidewalk chalk art, and cuddling on the couch. More times than I can count, over the last couple of weeks I’ve looked around at my family and my heart has been filled with love.
Yes, I feel sadness, grief, and fear just like everyone else. But humans are capable of a wide range of feelings and experiencing them simultaneously. Sure, I want this to be over just like everyone else, but I also realize it’s an opportunity to learn about myself and my motivations. I hope you take a moment to consider these same things for yourself.
