Lazy Day Daze
While I love travel, I wouldn’t classify a family vacation as a time of relaxation. We spent most of our time poolside or at the beach, but instead of feeling rested when we got home late last night, I felt drained and exhausted. All three of my guys were clearly feeling the same, so we spent the day recuperating. Hindsight suggests we may have been better off powering through and getting back into a normal routine.
Other than a 10am yoga class, I haven’t left my house and other than cooking some tuna noodle casserole, I’ve been essentially useless all day. By the way, I hadn’t had tuna noodle in like 3 years and only made it at Jason’t request, but it was really quite a delicious comfort food perfect for a lazy day. I’m sure the carb and at overload isn’t helping my energy levels.
The problem with a lazy day is it’s draining and more exhausting than being active and productive. Even though I caught up on my reading goals for this week, my brain feels mushy, almost as if I lost a couple of IQ points today. I had planned to do a few hours of writing today, but I couldn’t manage to find the motivation, which has now led to some regret and disappointment in myself.
It’s bad enough I didn’t write, but as I look around the house thinking of all the things I could have done today instead of being fully unproductive, I’m even more aggravated with myself. I have drawers that need organizing, baseboards that need dusting and closets that need to be cleaned out. But instead is sat on my ass growing more and more lethargic.
I somehow fell into binging 1/2 of a Netflix series called Unbelievable. While the story is gripping, the subject matter is heavy and discouraging. Thankfully, Harry asked me to play a baseball game with him, so I pulled myself away from this heartbreaking story. I will resist from watching the next 4 hours now that he’s in bed.
At this point, I really just want to go to bed, but I’m fairly certain I’m not going to sleep well because I’ve not exerted enough energy for my body to be tired. This could lead to me staying up too late and sleeping in tomorrow which could be the beginning of a scary spiral into depression. I’ve been in that cycle before.
So here I am preparing to go to bed at 10:15 on a Saturday night when 20 years ago I would have just been deciding on my evening plans. Weirdly, instead of feeling old and boring, I’m considering this mature and proactive protection of my mental health.
I suppose I’ll force myself to get up early to hit the gym and grocery before showering and heading to 11:00 mass and a 2:00 football game. Jumping back into my schedule will be the only way to combat this, but it’s going to take a lot of willpower and focus. I only hope I am up to the challenge.
