Existential Laundry Crisis
If you have a family, you will attest to the truth of what I’m about to say—laundry never ends.
I’m on vacation and I’m still doing laundry. The best thing about staying with family, other than they’re pretty damn great, is the washer and dryer. I can wash our clothes so when we get home we just have to unpack and put things away—no ungodly piles of laundry to deal with!
When we left for the airport, we didn’t have a single stitch of clothing that needed to be laundered, but that is a short-lived victory. We’ll get home with clean clothes to unpack and nothing in the hamper, but I can guarantee that within 20 minutes there will be laundry that needs to be done.
I actually enjoy washing clothes. I love the smell of Tide, the challenge of removing a stain and the warmth radiating from the dryer. Well, everything but pairing and folding socks—that just sucks. I don’t advertise my laundry love to my family. It seems better that they appreciate my efforts and that may change if they realize I’m enjoying myself.
So tonight, everybody else is asleep and I’m sitting on the balcony watching the ocean. This is a great opportunity to think about our trip and set goals for getting back into routine when we get home. This ritual is one I actually look forward to. However, I’m pretty exhausted from beach time, pool time, go-karts and minimal sleep all week.
I just tried to flip the clothes into the dryer and I realized I forgot to start the washing machine. Now I’m delusionally exhausted and looking at a good 45 minutes until I can go to bed. I am in the throes of an existential laundry crisis and I’m now questioning everything.
What’s the meaning of life? What exactly does OxiClean do? How do I know if I’m doing the right thing? What’s the difference between Delicate and Handwash? Is a person a mind or a body?
The good news is these are not questions that will keep me up all night because the moment I can throw these clothes into the dryer, I’m going to pass out. Let’s hope it’s not before…
