Compliments and Criticisms
Since I started Midlife Pickle a little over 6 months ago, I’ve had almost exclusively positive comments from readers. That was until last Wednesday when I posted a blog entitled “Where Were the Heroines” exploring the revelation that nearly all of the literature I read during my 12 years of public school education had male protagonists. I shared links to this piece on my social media accounts, just as I do with posts I think may be of interest.
Not long after I posted this on LinkedIn, I had a handful of casual professional acquaintances basically attack me for being “feminist.” Weirdly, in the article I took the stance that I agreed with most of the curriculum choices made by my educators and I stood by the traditional literary canon. As I saw it, part of the commentary was the it took me 25 years to realize the lack of women in my reading requirements. I only noticed when Harry shared that he was reading Because of Winn-Dixie which is about a girl and her dog.
Initially I tried to engage and further explain my stance, but it devolved into further criticism of any comment I made. Eventually, I was accused of being sexist and having unconscious bias. Uh, newsflash—everybody has unconscious bias! Ultimately, I dismissed the attacks as people who were just trolling for a fight and clearly didn’t read the full piece.
As quick as I was to dismiss this bad interaction, I’ve been more than happy to hear positive remarks about my writing. I think this may be a flaw, or maybe a bit egotistical.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that it feels great when people compliment my writing. When people comment on my posts or send follow up emails, it makes my day. When I run into a reader a Kroger, I’m flattered that they took the time to read my musings. Although, sometimes I feel a little embarrassed or awkward when people comment in person. There’s something about hiding behind a the shield of a screen that makes me feel less exposed than face-to-face
As nice as the encouragement and agreement feel, if I’m going to give weight to the positive remarks, I suppose I have to do the same for the negative. I’ve heard of actors who refuse to read play or movie reviews for this very reason. I don’t think ignoring all comments is the right approach, but it’s probably a good idea to put equal stock in encouraging and critical remarks.
Writing and sharing my thoughts publicly has had many positive outcomes. I’ve met new people, reconnected with old friends, forced myself to think through my assumptions regarding several topics and dug deeper into some mistakes I’ve made in recent years. As I continue to explore and grow, my opinions are bound to change. I anticipate not everyone agreeing, which is perfectly fine. I will remain open to constructive debate and sharing of ideas, but in the end I will stand by my convictions.
In the end, I will continue to welcome opinions, good bad or indifferent, but I will strive to weight them all equally. Personal attacks however, will be disregarded immediately.
